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Controlling Relationship

Are you in a controlling relationship, but not sure how you got there? Learn the signs of an abusive relationship and find out how you can start to heal.

How Did I Get Here?

This is a question that many people ask themselves when they realize that they’re in a controlling relationship. Most of the time, people have been in the relationship for quite a while before they realize their situation.

When your situation does become clear to you, you may be afraid for yourself or your children. This fear is the reason that some people choose to stay in a controlling relationship - whether it's emotional, physical, or financial fear.

This doesn’t mean that a controlling relationship is the same as an abusive relationship. However, it’s statistically proven that most controlling relationships happen to women and can develop into an abusive or violent situation.

The controlling partner may not see or understand that their actions or behavior is hurting their partner. Sometimes, they may even feel that they’re protecting the other person.

Ultimately, the controlling partner is acting out of their own insecurity. They may have a fear of being left alone, abandoned, or feeling unimportant.

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What Are the Signs to Look Out For?

A controlling relationship isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships. It can happen between friends, family, teachers, co-workers, and any other relationship in your life.

Here are some indications that you’re in a controlling relationship:

  • You feel that you cannot do anything without the other person’s knowledge.

  • You’re being checked-up on all the time.

  • You’re easily criticized for your actions.

  • You look and feel unhappy.

  • You have limited access to family and friends.

  • Your telephone calls are monitored and limited.

  • You’re not allowed to do things by yourself or with others without the other person’s permission.

  • You have little or no financial independence.

  • You may feel obligated to do things that make you uncomfortable.

  • You have difficulty with your emotional and physical boundaries.

  • You’re being blamed, insulted, nagged, or sent mixed messages.

  • You’re being told what to do.

  • You hold things back and you don’t stand your ground.

  • You feel you have nothing to say or contribute to the world.

  • You’d rather keep the peace than start a conflict.

  • You hope the person will change with time.

How You Can Start to Heal

The moment you notice these signs in your relationship, you can start to find help and heal. When your situation becomes clear, you’ll find it hard to ignore the reality.

The first person who can help you is yourself. Start to take care of yourself by properly eating, sleeping, and learning your own needs and limits.

You can find support from others who are removed from the emotional situation. This may be a professional therapist, a clergyman, a friend, or family member.

The process of healing will take time. It also takes time to revert the strengths that you gained from this controlling relationship into positive use.

Becoming a Stronger Person

Although being in a controlling relationship may be difficult, at the end you may find yourself a stronger person. Here are some strengths that you may have gained:

  • Patience.

  • Understanding.

  • Flexibility.

  • Knowing when to talk and when to listen.

  • Humility.

  • Empathy.

  • Offering support.

  • Compassion.

  • Sacrifice.

  • Endurance.

  • Persistence.

  • Forgiveness.

  • Letting go.

  • Healing.

More Free Advice

Your psychic Spiritual reading can bring you answer to your personal questions about being in a controlling relationship with a free reading. Consult our archives to discover how other people’s questions have been answered.

Follow the links below to continue reading more romantic relationship advice from your psychic counselor:

  • A tip long distance relationship is that such relationships depend on the love and commitment involved, as well as what time in your life you entered the relationship.

  • Some people get involved in a rebound relationship as a way of making up for lost time after their previous relationship did not work. You may start dating again soon after a break-up to no longer feel hurt or to get what you could not receive from your previous relationship.

  • Relationship compatibility does exist between friends, family members, and couples. Understanding your self and your needs can help to make this happen.

  • A codependent relationship may result in a dysfunctional pattern of living that developed during childhood from family interactions.

  • Relationship counseling is something that you may feel that you need at some point to make your relationship work. If you have not done any work on healing yourself as an individual, it becomes difficult to grow stronger in your relationship.

  • When it is time for a relationship rescue, the foundation of your relationship is no longer solid and it becomes difficult to rebuild.

  • A teen relationship can happen at a time of great upheaval in a teen’s life, because they are still learning about the world and about other relationships with their peers.

  • Marriage counseling can help you at a time in your life when you don’t know where to turn. This can show you where the problems are and how to heal them.

  • A long term relationship can be achieved, but it depends on your individual needs, as well as the willingness of others to make it happen.

  • Ending a relationship can be a difficult time in your life. It can also have a life-long effect on children involved and their future children.

  • An interpersonal relationship helps us to define ourselves, our culture, our beliefs and how each of these elements work together.

  • A healthy relationship starts by creating a healthy relationship with yourself. You can start by adding congruency to your life.

  • Relationship communication means that there are different ways that people communicate with each other. Becoming aware of yourself and your way of communicating can be very helpful.

  • Relationship help is about first helping yourself before you can help your family or friends. That means becoming conscious of your needs.

  • An abusive relationship is a type of relationship that is learned from children in their early years. Becoming aware of the habits that ensue from abusive relations can help you to change your way of life.

  • Relationship problems can be identified when you first know what your needs are. These problems have a great effect on the couple as well as the children involved.

  • Some individuals seek an open relationship to spice up their relationship or to bring back what they once had.

  • A platonic relationship is based on some form of attraction with each person involved. Being clear about your needs and boundaries can be an advantageous.

  • A bad relationship is created when people are not clear about their needs and intentions. Becoming conscious that each of us is responsible for our own life, and what we want to achieve, is the right step to take.

  • For a marriage relationship to last, each individual needs to put time and effort into the relationship. Ask for better communication when building a strong foundation for your marriage.

  • A trust relationship can often be demanding for anyone who is working on healing past wounds. It can take time and communication for trust to build again.

  • An online relationship can be successful, depending on each individual involved and their needs, honesty, and ability to communicate.

  • Your relationship horoscope can help you to understand yourself better and how to act in your own best interest. Learning about your own needs and how to better communicate them is a good place to start.

  • A relationship break up is a very difficult time for many people. At this time you may feel lost and have little desire to lead an active life.

  • Cheating in relationship does not only affect you – it can also have a significant impact on children and their future relationships.

  • Receiving love relationship advice can be either simple or complicated. It depends on where you are in your life and how well you understand your needs.

  • A successful relationship can be achieved when you know yourself, your needs, and the needs of you partner.


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