Without You.

by M D
(Houston, USA)

I am twenty years old and the oldest of three children. I am a widow; I had been in a common law marriage with my husband for two and a half years. We had decided to get married in a church last year before he passed away in a car accident.

I never had a good relationship with anyone in my family besides my grandparents. Yes I did end up hanging around with the wrong crowd and did things I regret, but everyone makes mistakes.
At least I took responsibility for my actions. At least I decided that those mistakes would not define who I am today.
M. came along in my life. He was the only person I knew who could handle me at my worst, even when he deserved me only at my best. I have many regrets, but one thing is for sure: meeting M. was the BEST thing that could ever happen to me. He taught me so many things; he helped me when no one else dared. He used to tell me that I was perfect and he actually made me believe it. I didn't care if I was ridden with flaws, I was perfect in his eyes and that was all that mattered.

I cannot keep avoiding this grief I feel, even after a year...I still can't get over the fact that he is not with me. I talk to him everyday but I have this fear growing inside me that tells me he is not listening and that he has forgotten me. I want more than a one sided conversation. I want to know that he is okay.

I can't eat; I can't sleep just wondering if he is okay and if he misses me. I am scared that he feels alone, because I certainly do. I have to take sleeping pills and mood enhancers to get through the day. I am tired of thinking of the "what ifs." I would like a bit of closure so I can finally move on, but knowing that he is okay and that he still loves me.


I've tried losing my self in alcohol, drugs, meaning less sex and other destructive behavior. Hoping that maybe he would show, one last time. I have also tried to quit all of that, going to church and praying but that still does not fill this void I feel deep inside.

I am willing to do ANYTHING, I just want closure.
I want to be able to stop worrying about him. I want to know if he is okay, if he still loves me and a final goodbye.

What Is your question?: M., do you still love me?

And the psychic guides answered: We want to reassure you that he still loves you and accepts you for who and what you are. He does not judge you for what you have done. He is still around and is at peace. Your desire to have closure will take time you need to let it run its course. Attempting to forget about it makes it longer to find closure. Facing it and talking or writing about your hurts and your feeling of being alone and of not growing old together needs to be said.

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